A concept I learned in the military takes the Norman Legal system traditions and flips it on its head.  The legal system assumes people to be innocent until proven guilty.  Prosecutors have to prove  guilt “beyond reasonable doubt”.  But how would you behave if you had to prove you were “good” beyond a reasonable doubt?  That change in assumption complete rewrites your value system. Obviously, this would be an awful way for governments to investigate crimes but it is a very useful concept. 

If someone accused you of being a Caring and Loving Mother would there be enough evidence to convict you?  If someone accused your mother or wife of being Caring and Loving could you prove it beyond a reasonable doubt?  How would you behave if you wanted to be convicted of being a good parent?  Few thoughts have helped me more in life than wanting to be convicted of being a good father. Or being a good coworker. Or just being convicted of being good.

Levels of Guilt

For a rough outline what it would take to convict a woman of being a Caring and Loving Mother let’s look at some legalese[1]:

• Reasonable Suspicion:  The lowest level of certainty that you are a good mother. If there is reason to believe that your kids are going maintain an ACE 0 until they reach 19 years old then you start right here.
• Probable Cause:  A middling level of certainty that you are a Caring and Loving Mother.  Your children appear healthy, not obese and no sign of stress eating.  They display good teamwork with their classmates.  They  on track or ahead of their peers when it comes to reaching behavioral milestones.  They are also ahead of their peers about their Moral Reasoning.  They don’t engage in high-risk behaviors that would increase their own Children to their own children having
• Beyond a Reasonable Doubt:  Your children have reached it to 19 with an ACE of 0.  Further that any grandchildren also were raised as ACE 0.

Some notes: Having a parent with a mental illness like depression gives a kid a score of ACES 1.  This work does not propose self-eugenics where you take yourself out of the mating pool.  But if you have PTSD or depression you have an obligation to do what you can to mitigate the secondary trauma to your spouse and your children.  You should do your best to have your children have an ACE capped at 1 and your grandchildren would have an ACE of Zero.