How to use Self-Assessment and Integrity Together Effectively
Time to smack to ideas together. Daniel Goleman’s Working with Emotional Intelligence highlighted bright people with lacking careers because they focused on their intellectual strengths and did not develop their social skills. Mr. Goleman recommendation was people improve their ability to self-assess to learn where they needed to improve the most to be successful. The United States Marine Corps has an interest to ensure they train their personnel to the highest standards of leadership. Leadership is so important to Marines they have twice the leadership traits they instill in their troops than the Army. Fourteen in JJ DID TIE BUCKLE to seven in LDRSHIP. Some traits are more recognizable and used than others. Integrity made to both the Marines and Army lists and is in Emotional Intelligence within the definition of trustworthiness.
Controversial statement: the average person does not want to be emotionally intelligent and they don’t want to act with integrity. The average person wants think of excuses they are comfortable with to justify their lack of emotional intelligence. They want to make excuses for their lack of integrity. The average person plans their life so they can display less emotional intelligence and integrity when they have enough power.
One of the main refrains for this blog is that self-improvement for the sake of self-improvement is worth it. It cost an additional $0.0 these days for people to have access to the wealth of information related to self-improvement. Learning to be more emotionally intelligent and improving our ability to be a parent-as-leader takes some time and effort. But in the long run takes less effort be a good parent than a bad parent.
Goal Setting
It is especially hard trying to get people to improve on “soft” skills. Both coaches and mentors push people further than they think they could go by themselves. But it is easier set goals as an athletic coach. A power lifting coach can point to a chart[2] and show a lifter could reasonably bench 275lbs. A woman looking to run her first 5k can target a hour run time of an hour and find out she is faster than 40 percent of people in her age group.[3] A collage basketball aspirant can see the average mile run time of college level ballers is 5:40[4]. The mentor has a bit more difficulty.
The goal I am metaphorically trying to reach is to tell people that they can reach that run time. Or they can put up that bench personal record. More literally the goal I am setting is for women to have the same level of excitement in improving their “personal” emotional intelligence as they do their “professional” emotional intelligence. Otherwise, they have a manifest lack of integrity. I’ll explain more after some examples.
Scoring Self-Assessment and Integrity
I argue that we should score someone’s emotional intelligences where they show the least amount of emotional intelligence. We should not look at a high functioning person at work but low functioning their personal relationship and average their scores. Nor should we score emotional intelligence based where someone has the most strengths. That behavior was a main reason Mr. Goleman began his work on emotional intelligence. It stunts their growth. Unfortunately, deeply imbedded into society is the division between professional and personal morality. People end up adopting personas a where one persona is the good persona and the other is bad.
Big 5 Framework for Understanding Emotions
The Big Five personality framework is useful for defining the emotions we want to look at for emotional Awareness and Self-Assessment. We are looking to sell-asses on measures of positive emotions and negative emotions/neuroticism. Neuroticism is a Big 5 Domain with the six sub-facets. It is scored by how often or intensily someone feels these negative emotions or how resistive they are to feeling them.
Positive emotion is a sub-facet of Agreeableness in the Big 5 Personality framework and is not broken down into sub-facets. It is usually defined in terms like happiness, excitement, joy, hope, and inspiration.
Somone can be highly emotional in both positive and negative emotions. Someone else could score lowly in both positive and negative emotions. Or for them to feel one more intensely than the other. We are looking for discrepancies in emotions that people feel using their skills on family compared to work. The bigger that gap the more someone lacks emotional intelligence.
Many people are fine with this gap as it serves their materialistic and status-based wants. They are fine overlooking other people’s lack of integrity if they receive the same service. They all agree not to snitch. This is an anti-social tendency of society that get embedded into our expectations very early in life. By looking at how these anti-social values get imbedded in society and then propagate we can start looking for remedies. We can achieve our goal of women having the same level of excitement in improving their “personal” emotional intelligence as they do their “professional” emotional intelligence.
The Ultimate goal
Part of the goal is to set up a virtuous cycle/positive feedback loop people and society.
- People self-identify as caring and loving improve their self-assessment, emotional intelligence and integrity
- Likewise, people that view themselves as having integrity reassess where they need to improve their emotional intelligence skills.
- Both groups improve their knowledge of what it is to be caring and loving in practice
- Those people become regenerate role models and mentor to other people in their generation
- Degenerate behavior and charismatic criminals become more repugnant and are motivated to change
- As it becomes more socially expensive to be degenerate less people chose to be degenerate
- There are now more regenerate role models than negative role models and the cycle iterates.
