Understanding Self-Assessment and Integrity in light of the Vignettes & Questions

There are times where our physical bodies tell us more about our motivations, values and expectations than we realize.  We can be surprised with how happy or how resentful an experience leaves us. That is a chance for us to accurately self-assess what we truly hold as our values and expectations. In other words, we can learn how to stop lying to ourselves.

Someone with duty to family and sound moral principles use all social skills they learn to thrive in their personal and professional lives with the same amount of enthusiasm and dependability. Any gap in enthusiasm and dependability in your service orientation in your professional and personal life shows a deep lack motivation and integrity.  The emotions supply the insight and the definition of integrity points to how we can improve as family members.

The women in the Deeply Resentful Vignette probably do not think they lack integrity.  They look at the beginning of the definition and focus on honesty and stop their self-assessment right there.  They may think they have a sense of duty and sound moral principles as well.  But their bodies are telling them otherwise. People with integrity don’t feel deep resentment that they have to use their social skills in a family setting.  Those women expectations that they should not have to use social skills in the home is on its face so anti-social that it boggles the mind that people would publicly admit it. It is a statement on how far motherhood and femininity has been degraded.

Altruistic narcissist often have skills that she uses at work but refuses to use in her personal relationships.  Many occupations are filled with women notorious for “eating their young” because how awfully experienced staff treat new hires.  Teaching, Medicine mental health organizations are toxic fields to work in as they are filled with altruistic narcissist. Clearly many of these women don’t even use emotional intelligence with their fellow staff and children, just their clients. 

The young ladies in my woman studies class probably don’t see how they are planning a life lacking in integrity even though they made it very clear that they had no interest in anything resembling duty to family. I could see in these young ladies a younger version of my mother that I never was able to meet.  And I could see where these young ladies were going to end up when they have kids of their own.   If you think otherwise, I challenge you, please point out one sound moral principle these women are displaying when they engaged in that conversation?

Where the professional ladies showed their lack of integrity with their negative emotions these young ladies showed it with their amused mocking of the social skills of a stay-at-home mom and the social skills of a wife generally.

Looking towards Generational Improvements in Happiness by Increasing Standards of Self-Assessment and Integrity

All of the emotional intelligence skills are portable skills.  They can help women as wives and mothers as they can help them in the workplace as bosses or star employee.  Society rebranded the skills schools taught to junior high girls as client management skills.  What schools taught for “free” not costs hundreds if not thousands of collars as seminars or online training.   That in itself is a sign of the complete segregation of the Standard Public Education system.  If you are part of an organization that teaches soft skills or client management skills to graduate level professionals, you have a perverse incentive to stop schools teaching it to children.

When social skills are taught later and not sooner people devalue them in there everyday lives. We are in a state were modern women on their second or third kid are less skilled than babysitters from 80 years ago. Due to excessive daycare and putting kids on the electronic screens the children are falling behind in their social skills and their emotional heath. Caring for kids isn’t simply shutting them up with toxic distractions.

Recommendations

If you recall times where your emotions have shown you have a motivational gap between your personal self and professional self you now know you have a lack of integrity. You should work on reducing that gap.  The good news is that it takes zero point zero additional dollars ($0.0) for adults to undertake this self-change.

Altruistic narcissist eating their young is concerning because these people have the most knowledge on trauma, abuse and neglect.  Those people are worse than the average routinely abusive and neglectful person.  The overabundance of feckless altruistic narcissistic people in mental health field is central to why we cannot trust their advice on how to go forward.  I am going to explain this in further detail when I write on “Go Woke go Broke.”  We have to look elsewhere for our recommendations.

For Children

Elementary school children can learn the social skills and personal skills in an approachable, fun, engaging way. Teaching elementary school children people of integrity learn these skills and use them with as much enthusiasm and dependability in their personal life as they do their professional life would do wonders to improving happiness.  Finding and removing degenerate role models in schools like my Woman Studies teacher would completely revolution people’s expectations.

A main barrier to this recommendation is parents with low integrity.  They naturally would fight normalizing such a standard conduct being taught to children. The increase in awareness of a functional definition of integrity outs them as being feckless.  Mothers that raise their children without integrity normalizes neglect and abuse for both boys and girls.  It leads to a normalization of degeneracy with each generation becoming worse.

Restoring integrity to a reasonable standard can strain the relationship between adult children and their parents. The adult children actualize their own upbringing and the parents usually don’t want to be honest.  Many mothers have imposter syndrome and they do not respond well to finding out people see through their disguise. This has a tendency towards conflict as most abusive parents would rather play the victim than admit they were wrong.  Making the decision to confront a parent or estrange them is a rather complicated issue. Often the pain of estrangement can be worse before it gets better. It might be better to just wait them out.

For Women

Please understand that men know many women lack integrity. Men see this lack of integrity.  We live with it every day with examples from the women we went to school with, the women we work with and the women in our personal lives.  I was able to recognize my mother’s lack of integrity while I was still in elementary school. Literal child’s play. Family, friends, lovers, many men have hundreds of examples as they get older of the everyday modern woman lacking integrity.  We see the difference in people’s work and professional personas with easy.

By way of comparison people can walk into a person’s home and see within moment signs that in this house have people take off their shoes when in the house.  It only takes a few interactions with a woman to get a measure of her integrity.  Sometimes men resist this realization because of the head job other women have done on him.  The Flock includes his closest confidants, his mother or other women close to him and they groom him to accept poor behavior from women.  They don’t want to accept that women chose to treat their families so poorly.

Many women know they lack integrity.  What do they do with this knowledge?  Rather than improve their integrity they go on the attack.  They”

• are proud of their lack of integrity as it is a source of secret power and do not want to give it up
• call the expectations that women act with integrity as wife as mothers as unrealistic
• accuse men of misogyny for not lowering their standards of conduct. 
• brand accepting maternal abuse and neglect as “progressive” and not accepting it as “regressive.”

Women with low integrity, I hope you understand what happens men realize who you are. Confident and assertive men screen you out as a partner due to your feckless nature.  Dogs and scoundrels decide that since you are playing the game like this that it is OK trying to outplay you.

Since many women enjoy the “game “ bad boys many of you are fine with dating the bad boys and playing the game but eventually when you want to settle down none of the confident and assertive men want to settle for you and your bad habits.   Sometimes you find a jaded guy and both of you settle for one another. That situation usually does not work out well.

How Improving your Self-Assessment skills and Integrity can make you a happier person

Research around customer services shows that it takes businesses twelve positive interactions to one negative positive interaction to maintain a positive relationship with customers.  To normal well-adjusted people that is easy because normally a positive interaction for others is a positive interaction for you.  Being helpful to others is good for your mental health[6]^,[7] and well adjusted people know that as well.

In order for most people to be good at their job they have to have a service orientation. Service orientation is how you keep your clients and others stake holders happy.  All three of the examples show women that have completely different attitudes in their service orientation between work and home.  As such, they deny themselves the most important things they can be doing for their own mental health: maintaining a positive relationship with family.  Many a mother lives long enough to see her grandchildren.  If she raises them with a proper service orientation a that is three generations of joy as she has set the foundational for health reciprocal caring relationships.  If she raises them poorly, she has set up the next two generations for stress and dysfunction.

What I am not recommending

If you display a lack of integrity then don’t get upset when people call you out.  With some mental gymnastics you could blame the person correcting your poor behavior for a negative interaction with you.  That is 100% the wrong way to interpret any advice on positive interactions or the 12:1 ratio.  If someone does come to you will advice you should take that advice as positively as possible and weign and measure it for how you can best improve.

And don’t think people should praise you because became less abusive and neglectful.  The relationship improving and your own increase in mental health should be all the reward you need. And how do you even bring up that conversation “Can you praise me because I decided to stop abusing you?  Otherwise what is the point? I will just start again.”  That is a perfect example of emotional hostage taking.

For Men

If want to be a man of of integrity you need to continue to set the example.  As you learn personal skills or social skills and they have helped you in your personal relationships let people know. Have a collection of relatable stories of how you solved personal problems with skills you you learned on the job.

It should go without saying but avoid women lacking in integrity.  If you know she makes it to work every day out of the year but makes you wait when you set a clear appointment she is testing and grooming you for future abuse and neglect.  If she appears warm and agreeable around coworkers and her friends but not for you she is grooming and testing you.

Trust your gut.  Better cut it off sooner as opposed to later. If you try coaching her it is more likely than not she will only suppress her negative behaviors in a act of perfidity. If she does not display integrity formthe first moment you meet her don’t trust her at all.

What I am not recommending

Nothing about this article should justify targeting feckless women for relationships so you can treat them feckless in return.  There is nothing beneficial to being in a relationship with them. That is just going to reenforce bad habits and make it harder for you to appreciate normal relationship. Good boundaries dictate you should ]be cut off or estrange feckless women, not date them.

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[1] I am the source.

[2] https://strengthlevel.com/strength-standards/squat

[3] https://runrepeat.com/how-do-you-masure-up-the-runners-percentile-calculator

[4] https://www.sportsrec.com/7414233/the-average-speed-of-a-basketball-player

[5] I think Mr. Reid has some of the best writing on a wide array of psychological subject.  There are some things I might quibble over but I love his work. I didn’t ask him before quoting this example as free use though. anhttps://jreidtherapy.com/altruistic-narcissist/#

[6] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201805/in-helping-others-you-help-yourself

[7] You just need to make sure you are actually being helpful, not pushy and not doing to meet your own needs and you have boundaries to avoid psychopathic parasitic people.